My Immortal
by KateLilly
Summary: Kate Centric. OneShot. S1 and S2 S!Season 1 and 2 SpoilersKate feels bad about her past. R&R! I TAKE FLAMES!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Lost though it would be a dream come true! And this song is by Evanescence.**

Kate sat on the beach playing with her little toy plane. Just a few days before Jack had helped her retain it from Sawyer. But Jack didn't get it. He didn't get what had happened to her because he'd probably never lost someone he loved, let alone it being his fault which would make him go to jail. It's funny. He says he knows how she feels, and he says he understands, but he never actually knew or will know exactly what it feels like. He doesn't know, the pain that's put on you when someone you loved dies, or someone you love dies on your account.

A tear rolled down her soft cheek as she remembered what happened that day.

"_Tom get out of the car now!" said Kate. "No," said a brown haired man. Kate just sat there staring at him for a moment before stomping on the gas pedal and breaking through the bars of the pay toll. The cop just ahead shot bullets that hit the wind shield. But Kate had to keep focus on the road. She couldn't take her eyes off the road. _

_Finally Kate stopped after hitting a car. She looked over at Tom about to say "Get out," when she saw blood. Tons of it on Tom's medical coat. "Tom?" she asked. "Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Tom!" she yelled. "Tom!" she said again. She looked back when she heard sirens. The police were coming and she didn't have time to sit and mourn over a dead body. So she jumped out of the car, not looking back at the stuff they had taken out earlier from their time capsule and running down a storm drain._

Kate walked into the jungle, pocketing the plane and walking further in. She couldn't cry in front of around 40 people. It would be bad for her reputation as the tough girl. So she walked far into the jungle and sat alone. She kept thinking about Tom no matter what her subject was, whether it was math, or games, or just plain out food. It always led to Tom in some way or another.

**I'm so tired of being here**

**Suppressed by all my **

**Childish Fears**

**And if you have to leave**

**I wish that you would just leave**

**Cause your presence still lingers here**

**And it won't leave me alone**

**These wounds won't seem heal**

**This pain is just too real**

**There's just to much that time cannot erase**

Kate's tears were coming out in harsh loud sobs now and she bet that someone from the beach if not all of them had heard them. She couldn't help it. She had to cry. It was like breathing. You had to breathe. But it wasn't really like breathing to her because she hadn't cried in so long. So to her crying was more like bathing. You didn't have to do it that often. But you should. "You're crying?" asked a voice. She just continued to cry, sitting on a log, her head in her hands. "Why?" asked the voice coming closer. "Because, all I ever do brings bad luck and, and death. I can't do anything right," said Kate. "Now who said that?" said the voice of someone still moving closer. "I did, my mother did, and my, my, never mind," said Kate. The person was still moving closer at a very slow pace. Kate looked up when the person sat down and saw Rose. "Rose, I, I didn't know it was you," said Kate surprised. "Now, why do you say that everything you do brings bad luck and death?" asked Rose. "Because it's true. But, no one knows the truth," said Kate. "What truth? I think you can share it with me," said Rose. "Okay. I, I'm a fugitive. But I did it for a good reason," said Kate. Rose just stared in disbelief. "I did because, the person I killed was hurting my mom. His name was Wayne. He always came home drunk and then started beating on my mom," said Kate. Fresh tears were streaming down her cheeks now as the memory flooded through her.

_She heard a truck coming up the gravel road of a country house. The door opened and closed as a man stepped out. He was obviously drunk by the way he was walking. He walked up to Kate and stared for a minute. "Come on, lets get you inside," said Kate. "Wow," said the man while walking through to his room. "Now, you need to sleep," said Kate laying him down on her bed. She took off his shoes and out him under the covers. "You know, you're beautiful," he said. Kate just stared at him disgusted in what he just said. "You're really beautiful," he said again. His hand moved up towards her cheek and she moved away. "Goodnight Wayne," she said walking out the door. She walked outside to her motorcycle and turned it on. She stayed for a minute before starting off down the gravel road and then an explosion was heard. The whole house blew up in a matter of seconds._

"Now, I don't think you should've killed him but you had a good reason," said Rose. "I just wish I could take it all away. All of the memories, all of the pain. I wish I could be forgiven," said Kate. "Now, now. You can't e forgiven by the people you killed. But you can ask for forgiveness from God," said Rose. Kate looked up at Rose. "Dear heavenly father. We thank you this day for bringing us together…" said Rose.

**When you cried **

**I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**And you'd scream**

**I'd fight away all of your fears **

**And I held your hand **

**Through all of these years**

**But you still have**

**All of me**

**You used to captivate me**

**By your all resonating light**

**Now I'm bound by the life you left behind**

**Your face it haunts**

**My once pleasant dreams**

**Your voice it chased away**

**All the sanity in me**

**These wounds won't seem heal**

**This pain is just too real**

**There's just to much that time cannot erase**

**When you cried **

**I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**And you'd scream**

**I'd fight away all of your fears **

**And I held your hand **

**Through all of these years**

**And you still have**

**All of me**

**I've tried so hard to tell myself**

**That you're gone**

**But though you're still with me**

**I've been alone all along**

**When you cried **

**I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**And you'd scream**

**I'd fight away all of your fears **

**And I held your hand **

**Through all of these years**

**But you still have**

**All of me**

**Oh, of me**

**Oh, me**

**Oh**

Kate knew that she could not be forgiven by the people that she killed, or that died because of her, or on her account, but she knew she could be forgiven by God. After Rose had helped her, she felt much better. And she knew Tom would forgive her some day.

**A/N: Well, I hope you liked it. I just thought of that while listening to Evanescence so it just ca me up. HEY! I WROTE THAT WHOLE THING IN LIKE 10 MINUTES! AMAZING! Well, please Review.**


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